So, I meditate, right?
Before and after I meditate, I bow. (It's just part of the practice. I suppose I'm bowing to my higher self?)
I was meditating the other night on the oriental rug in the middle of my room. I finished. I bowed. And I put my face right on a cockroach.
I immediately flew into the air screaming and hovered there for several seconds. The roach crawled under my schoolbag and out of sight. I landed lightly on one foot and stared in horror. "Did I just kiss a roach??"
I put shoes on my hands and feet and hunted it for several minutes. Part of my mind was saying "Hey, what happened? You were so calm. Where's your serenity now? Just chill out, take a deep breath, and do this calmly. It can't hurt you. It's a bug."
The other part of my brain was screaming "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"
When I finally found and destroyed my foe, I was screaming "DIE BASTARD DIE!!!". The creature was one of the largest I'd ever seen: at least as long as my index finger and over an inch wide. As I gazed upon the mutilated corpse of the demon, I considered ironic juxtaposition of my two states. Serenity to adrenaline, compassion for all beings to murder.
So maybe I should meditate some more. Or at the very least,
look before I bow.
~~~
I went to Dallas to see Tool this week. I can't really describe the audio-visual insanity without waving my arms, so I'll just tell you it was
awesome and leave the rest to your envious imagination.
I really, really need to stop using the paper journals and come back here again.
Lately, I've been busy. Really busy. Work is difficult but rewarding, and school is progressing at an insane pace. I feel like I'm busy 24/7. This semester is OB/Peds, which means I'm working with kids, babies, and pregnant ladies. Not had much patient contact yet but that will be changing shortly as I will probably see a baby born on Tuesday or Wednesday. I wish I had time to draw. -_-
I got a new betta fish. His name is Gloomy. He is blue with orange fins. Quite lovely, though I have no pics handy.
Solomon is rapidly progressing from puppy-size to small-horse-size. He chews everything.
Everything. He and the cat are constantly waging war in the hallway. Solomon seems to want to do a dance with Miko, and bounces all over the place with excitement. Miko endures it for a little while before exploding in a cyclone of hissing and claws. Neither learns anything from these encounters. They just keep doing it over and over and over. I think Solomon might be stupid. (Though he is quite cute <3)
I was thinking of adding additional members to this blog. Maybe my sister? I dunno if you'd be interested in reading that, but I think it would make the place a little more exciting. Ugh, I have so many things going on in my head that don't make it to text. I wish I had the energy to tell you my story lately, tell you what has been happening in my life. But I don't. (Not that you really care about specific events, reading blogs is never about finding out what people have been
doing. Blogs are all about the way in which stories are told.) Since I can't tell a good story right now, I feel like I shouldn't be typing at all.
Maybe it's time to recommit to some activities like journaling/blogging though. I can only do so many things with my time... what is important to me? Making good grades, making money to pay for gas and food, making beautiful things, improving myself, improving my community. Why can't I keep that straight? Being lazy is so easy. But... I don't really think I'm lazy as much as I can't find a balance between all the things I want to do.
I wish I had more hands and heads, like some kind of Hindu god.
