Merry Christmas, all!

On this day, I wait with family until everyone arrives and we are allowed to open gifts. And during this extremely long interval (Mom woke US up at 8 for some reason), these Christmas Thoughts have occurred to me:

1) If a child is truly "NAUGHTY", then a lump of coal is probably not enough to deter them from mischief. In fact, if said child received a lump of coal, his or her first thoughts would probably include the words "sweet!" and "matches...?" Coal and sticks would encourage the kid to start a fire. Even when children are bad, Santa is giving them what they really want. How could we have not seen this until now??

2) There is a debate on how presents are to be opened. Should all rush in a scrum and rend the paper immediately, showing off gifts only after the air has cleared? Or should presents be opened one at a time, in turn? I once thought that taking turns was good; it prolongs the gift-giving part of the morning. But now I think that some people have other reasons to rush the tree than greediness. Taking turns calls attention to all lame presents given and received... not to mention that Christmas underwear and socks. Am I the only one who gets Christmas panties from Victoria Secret? I think not! But that doesn't mean I have to be indiscreet about opening them.

3) I wonder if anyone has ever wished for a mole for Christmas? Not the creature, but the dot on your face. Like Natalie Portman. I wonder if anyone has received plastic surgery to have a mole, or has tattooed one on?
Or maybe, has anyone ever wished for Natalie Portman's mole? Eww.

4) Lastly, this is the letter my sister and I left for Santa:

Dear Santa,
You are the coolest. You are also a strange cultural remnant of ancient pagan deity. We leave this cookie offering, Oh Santa, in the spirit of our long-dead ancestors. May it appease your mighty wrath, and give to you great strength. We thank you for your bountiful blessings.
Merry Christmas Great Santaman,
Heather and Lara

Tell me what you got for Christmas!
  ¶ 06:34